Most people ascribe insensitivity to men as opposed to women, but I think that is an illegitimate observation. Women can be and are often just as blunt and unfeeling in their words as men are. Truly both men and women need to work on gentleness.
I find that girls often forget that guys are breakable. They say things expecting them to be men which, in their mental dictionaries entails “strong and resilient and able to handle difficulties cooly”, but in the end what really happens is when they speak their words they crush them and never give a second thought to it because guys don’t show their pain. You know why? Men also understand that they must be, as stated before “strong, resilient, and able to handle difficulties cooly”. So they’re in the doghouse, they’ve got nowhere to go.
I would like to take this time to make this very clear. Men are breakable! just as much as women are, they just don’t always show it so clearly. I must confess that the majority of the most discouraging and spirit-crushing conversations I have had in my life have been with women. I hope in my deepest heart that that statistic will change in the future.
Another thing, harsh words are not legitimated by being prefaced with a warning to their harshness. Unless the words are biblically profitable and God-honoring in their message and function, prefacing it with “I know this is going to sound bad” or “this may seem really shady to say” or the like, is most often just verbal scrambling for an excuse to say something which is not best for the hearer to hear nor most glorifying the Lord to verbalize. Take that with a grain of salt, of course I understand that difficult things must be said, but as I qualified before, difficult things should only be said if they are what is best, God-honoring, and Biblically profitable for the hearer to hear.
In the end, there are many things that need to be addressed when it comes to gentleness and graciousness in speech but I only wanted to pick the mind a bit in order to get thoughts flowing. I guess I have said a few things that can be disagreed with but the point is this, girls and guys share the attribute of insenstivity and both girls and guys just need to get down to business and work on it. There is just too much spirit-crushing going on these days. People need a break.
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