Twenty two and still walking with the Lord

Thanks for the cake Mom, this picture is for you

and thank you Lord for another year of kindness.

sensing sorrow

Most people carry burdens behind a smiling face. Chances are you do too. I know nobody talks about it much, but that’s not what bothers me. What I don’t understand is how people either fail to see it or fail to care. I use the word fail, because it really is a failure on our part. An undershepherd at my Bible study once began a sermon by asking the question, how is it that someone can come to our Bible study, be surrounded by Christians and then leave without anyone noticing? How can someone be surrounded by people and still feel alone, unwanted, pushed to the side? Do you ever think about that?

It’s epidemic. Everyone knows that as believers, we’re called to love one another. That doesn’t happen abstractly. The apostle john says its even more than just via words or tongue, it’s demonstrated by deeds and that’s what makes love true. But stop here, most of us don’t even love to the degree that we use or words or tongue. And we’re talking about deeds and truth? Maybe I’m being pessimistic, maybe I’m jaded, but I have seen a good number of people with distant eyes on a Friday night. I told my roomate steve that sometimes I can stand at the front of the room and look out over the congregation and just point out the people who are in the very process of falling through the cracks. Just like that. But it’s more than just being engaged in conversation. Your mouth can be moving but in your heart something can still be amiss.

But I think you can sense it if you try. Think about it. You can hear it when they sigh after a good laugh, a sort of reluctant breath which seems to glaze the silence. You can see it in the hesitation of their lips, like they have one more thing to say but then nothing comes. You can feel it when you close the door and something about their farewell feels weak or unresolved. You can see it when their eyes dart away from yours, like they’re hiding something and looking at you straight will give it away. You can feel it when you touch their shoulder or give them a hug, how they’re response only meets you halfway, like the other half doesn’t really believe in it. You can hear it in their voice when their trying to be happy, something about the pitch and the waver, and you know that inside they’re weeping. You can see it when they fidget, not like they’re nervous but like they’re trying to distract themselves from losing composure. Sometimes you don’t even have to see them, and you know by their extended absence that they’re battling the demons alone.

I wish we would learn to sense sorrow with a keener heart. I hope none of us become Christians who plaster on their smiles and spend their entire lives telling their friends and family how everything is fine. It’s not fine. Not when we’re sinking into the shadows at night, feeling empty before we fall asleep and empty when we wake up. You ought to know that something is wrong if you can’t remember the last time you had lasting joy and a sweet sense of divine light. If your living right, you should be waking up to the silver ring of glory, not the heavy drone of dirge.

Resolved Conference really good.

This weekend was very eventful.  On Thursday night I came down with some sort of food poisoning by eating some strange food in the dorms.  The morning after I was nauseous, coming out both ends and deeply feverish.  There are many stories to tell concerning that day and a half but perhaps another time.  Resolved Conference started on Friday so I missed that session.  I also missed the morning session on Saturday.  But it’s okay because I ended up watching R.C. Sproul’s video sermon online, which I really recommend.  If there’s anyone I like more than John Piper it’s Sproul (or Steve Lawson).

But concerning Piper,  This was the first time I’ve seen the man live.  It was very cool.  Exactly what I expected, dynamic, insightful, and profoundly biblical.  What I took away was a reminder to take Scriptural teaching to its ultimate implications, to be the Christian who lives Christianity to its logical end and of course to seek to enjoy God Himself as the ultimate goal of all things.

So in short, I’m very happy about this weekend.  I feel like I’ve lost a great deal of spiritual focus in the last year and  half but I think I found it again at Resolved 07.

The gift that keeps on giving.

I don’t write much about this sort of thing, but I couldn’t resist. Last night Steve and I made the best bowl of beef noodle soup ever pulled together from sheer leftovers. Truly, today marks the climax of our culinary genius. In the soup alone there was rice wine, sugar, garlic, soysauce, awesome chinese star spice, cinnamon, hot sauce, other secret seasonings and loads of beef fat. We’re just a bunch of kids in the kitchen really, but I guess that just proves the superiority of Chinese food. After we finished the noodles, we sat in front of our bowls for a good while just picking out the beef pieces left in the soup. Steve said it was like the gift that keeps on giving. After he had finished washing his bowl I was still at it.

<pause>

On a separate and more random note, I have decided that memory is like an unreliable friend. When we need it, it cannot be found. When we we’re sick of it, it won’t got away. Frustration ensues.

More than the birds

Matt 6:25 begins with “For this reason” signaling the further development of the previous thought. That thought is this, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other.”

The passage which follows is famous for comforting those who are anxious. In fact, so common is this specific use of these verses that in some bibles the section is given the title “The Cure for Anxiety.” And yet, I believe that if all you see is a solution for anxiety you’ve missed it. That’s not the point.

The point of these verses is to press forward the question, whom do we serve and whom do we devote ourselves to. So then when Christ calls us not to worry it is in fact a call for us to lay aside the hindrances that might keep us from devoting ourselves fully to the one true God. He is probing the integrity of our devotion. Who really is your God? Now here is the sticky part. The hindrances to true devotion which are brought up by Jesus are clothing and food. Clothing and food? Aren’t those the bare necessities? The answer given by the text is No. Get this, even Survival can take the place of God.

Now I must be cautious here because I have never known real hunger, real nakedness or starvation. I have never lived on the streets and been in the rain without any shelter. So I am in no place to say these things on my own, I understand. But still, Scripture speaks.

In the face of innumerable under-nourished men and women, and thousands upon thousands more children facing nakedness, exposure, disease and starvation. Jesus opens his mouth and says “Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? “And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?” (Matt 6:25-27 NAS95S) But Jesus, doesn’t food keep us alive? What about the children? what about those who are dying? Where is God when they starve to death? You say the Heavenly Father feeds the birds and they do not toil, and you say that we are worth more than the birds to Him so why does he not feed the homeless and the dying?

I do not think Jesus spoke these words as we often imagine Him doing, with a big smile on his face, sitting on a patch of soft grass under the shade of tree with the sun up and everbody all cheerful and feeling sweet. The Sermon on the Mount was no Lion King Mufasa to Simba pep talk. It was painfully intense preaching on cold, hard, truth. I can imagine the firm demeanor and solemn tone He must have taken. We must accept that Jesus spoke with full knowledge of the thousands suffering from hunger and nakedness. So then what is the meaning of Christ’s words? What kind of encouragement is this? What kind of cure for anxiety makes promises that seem to be unmet in thousands of locations on the earth?

You see, that’s the thing. It is not a cure for anxiety, it is not even an encouragement. But the message is meaningful. With full apprehension of the world’s physical suffering, Jesus opens his mouth and says “Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?”

Food, which nourishes the physical body, Clothing, which guards us from the elements, these things are crucial for the preservation of physical life. And yet, Jesus says, if you are truly concerned about life, food and clothing should not be your main concern. But wait, if you don’t have these things don’t you lose your life? And I think here Jesus would say that yes, you might, but we all must die someday. Whether it be on the streets naked and cold or in your bed clothed and warm the outcome is the same. It is only the means that may differ. But if you are considering the kingdom, the dwelling place of God and the eternal destiny of your soul, we are no longer speaking about warm beds or cold concrete.

So why the promise? Jesus makes a promise here not to ease our anxiety but to increase our focus. It is not, “if you seek God, He will always keep you clothed and fed.” Rather, it is “If you seek God, clothing and food will no longer be your main concern.” The Gentiles who do not know God crave and long for material things, food, clothing and the like. But we who place our hearts in the hands of our Heavenly Father long for Him alone. Truly, as much as we love Him, we despise all else. Our Souls affirm that our Life is sustained by God and not by food. Though we starve, we will yet live.

“They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated (men of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground…”(Heb 11:36-38 NAS95S)

But all these gained approval through their faith. And you know what, I’ll bet a million and a half dollars that the birds never did. Heck, I’ll bet a million more that not one sparrow ever fell to the ground with its eternal destiny secured by faith.

Psalm 62:5-8

“ For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.”

The Difficulty of Coming to the Scriptures

It’s been about four years now since I learned to study the Scriptures and to go deep with the Word. A year and a half of learning to teach it and develop it into something understandable. And near 8 years of being a Christian in possession of a Holy Bible. That’s almost a third of my life living with the Word of the Lord. And yet, the Scriptures are still, yes even today, hard to open when I’m alone. I don’t intend to answer the question why it’s hard because the cause is obvious. My sin.

Now, the specific sin that is most threatening to me today is not lust, discontentment, or even pride. The great and silent killer sin is Laziness. Can you believe it? But did you know, men have died because they lacked discipline?

“The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray.” (Prov 5:22-23 ESV)

Failure to keep attentive to the truth and soberminded concerning their surroundings is a guarantee for making a shipwreck of faith. Don’t commit spiritual suicide just because your lazy. Its like kicking your own stool away and hanging yourself because you’re tired of standing. It’s just not worth it to be lazy.

Common error in addressing the Fairness of the Gospel

In smallgroup the other day, the question was asked “say, if in the highlands of Papua New Guinea, there was a man who never heard the gospel, isn’t it unfair that hes going to hell because he never had a chance to hear the good news?”

Sound familiar? It’s A good question, but a misleading one. I am certain that many of you have stumbled over the same question albeit in a different form or context in multiple instances. The reason the question is good is because it gets people to start thinking of human responsibility. The reason why it is misleading is because the question is in fact two distinct questions fused or in some cases confused into one. Those two questions are:

1. Why do people go to hell

2. How do people get into heaven.

The answer to the first question, why people go to hell is not because they did not hear the gospel, it is because they sinned, hence the scriptural teaching that eternal punishment is the result of sin. The answer to the second question which is distinct from the first, “how do people get into heaven”, is as we know, by the grace of God through faith in His son.

Now, you may say, but if you don’t hear the gospel, aren’t you going to go to hell? Well yes, but don’t connect the punishment so directly to the gospel. Remember, the gospel is the plan of rescue, not the cause of condemnation. It is our sin, and our sin alone, that paves the road to hell, not the absence of the Gospel. Once again, it isn’t the lack of hearing the Gospel that condemns you, it is your own sin.

So then for the man who dies in the highlands of Papua New Guinea. If he goes to hell when he dies, we must not attribute his fate to the fact that he never had a chance to be rescued. His destination was determined by his deeds. Everyday of his life he had a moral choice before him whether or not to sin against God. And his choice was sin. Even though he may have wanted heaven, he chose hell. You see, the man chose. He had a choice. It’s called moral responsibility.

This is mankind today. The whole world is participating in a global equation: Choosing A and consequently receiving B and that’s it…generation after generation. Sin leads to death, Sin leads to death, over and over again. The continuous series of cause and effect.

But every once in awhile, well…more than once in awhile actually…quite often, something divine reaches into the continuous line of sin and death and removes someone from the process. A rescue takes place. Just as you are in the middle of choosing sin, someone comes along and says, “I’ll take the punishment for that.” His name is Jesus. And what you’ve experienced in that invitation is pure and marvelous grace. Undeserved, unmerited and awesome.