trained emotions

came across the quote recently and thought I’d share it.

“Without the aid of trained emotions the intellect is powerless against the animal organism. I had sooner play cards against a man who was quite sceptical about ethics, but bred to believe that ‘a gentleman does not cheat’, than against an irreproachable moral philosopher who had been brought up among sharpers. In battle it is not syllogisms that will keep the reluctant nerves and muscles to their post in the third hour of the bombardment.”
- C.S. Lewis The Abolition of Man

self understanding

I’ve never considered myself terribly strange. Of course I’ve heard that in the past I’ve been labeled as something of an eccentric, perhaps awkward, or a bit more on the weird side. But to be quite honest, if you know me, I’m not too far from the regular joe. At this point, I’m sure many would scoff. Read on. Let me put it this way. I’m normal enough to be able to hold a conversation without causing people to turn tail and run. Strangers don’t walk into my apartment and freak out. I don’t wear clothes that makes people cringe and I don’t have any exceedingly anti-social habits like eating my boogers or smelling others armpits. I take showers often, use old spice deodorant, put on clean clothes each morning, eat 3 meals a day and try to stay fit. I don’t make it a hobby to stalk people or garner information about things I shouldn’t know. I’m not a hot-headed person or a psychotically sad emo or a hopeless bipolar. Of course I’m not saying I don’t get sad or angry, but the extremes are never that noticeable or common in my daily life. I don’t listen to weird music, or music that you can’t understand how anybody could appreciate. Even though I have hermit-like tendencies, I also enjoy being with people, enough that sometimes I’ll get out just to find some friends. I eat relatively normal things (for my nationality). I try to be frugal. I have excellent oral hygiene and I’m lazy with my contacts just like everyone else.

So in short. I think I’m pretty normal. Even though I might be a bit weird, everybody is weird in some ways, but hey, that’s normal. If you’ve got nothing special about you, well, I’m sorry but then you’re just…weird.

I think that’s why I don’t have too much trouble making friends. I don’t scare people, or make them feel uncomfortable. At least I try not to. Sure, I’ll throw in an awkward moment here or there to spice things up, but that’s not so crazy or outlandish that people feel like they’ve got to scram. Usually it makes for a good conversation starter or a good laugh.

But you know? I realized, that despite the fact that I’m not really that strange (…most people exaggerate, or make relative comparisons with stoic unfeeling boring people), I actually am strange. Because I am a Christian. I don’t mean to say Christianity is a strange religion. I mean to say that to the outsider, to somebody who has not come to know the Lord, the Christian who lives for the glory of the One Holy God is something of a crazy. Conservative Practice? Doctrine Lover? weird! In this post-modern world, where “relative” can be applied to everything and everybody and their mom, somebody who says “I believe in an absolute truth, that all men are sinners and destined for eternal punishment unless they wake up to the glory of God, repent and trust in the substitionary atonement of Christ on the Cross.” That’s really weird! And to be someone who puts God above everything, who spends free time going to preach the gospel to strangers on the street, what in the wide-world?!

So although I don’t believe I am crazy. I think people will think I am because I say things like “Jesus is my treasure!”

Nobody says anything like that outside of Christianity and gets away with it without being called a fruit.

So I’m starting to understand myself more these days. Yeah, I might be able to sit down on a couch with some friends over coffee and talk about random aspects of pop culture. Sooner or later, they’re going to start arching their brows. Christians are like clear oil in hot water. You can mix it up real good but sooner or later it’s got to separate.

misery’s shadow and joy’s reflection.

Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery’s shadow or reflection: the fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.

-C. S. Lewis

But Joy also has a reflection: the fact that you don’t merely feel joyful but also necessarily think of how joyful you are feeling when you do. I not only live each passing day in joy, but live each day thinking about living each day in joy.

Thankful on Thanksgiving

Last year when I posted about Thanksgiving I made a list of things I didn’t deserve. This year I just want to add on a couple more things in those same categories.

Spiritual Graces

1. I am unworthy of having the hope of heaven assured.
2. I am unworthy of being gripped by God, so much so that I feel unable to walk away from Him.

Relational Graces

1. I am unworthy to be shepherded by Matt Hauck at EBCT
2. I am unworthy to be friends with Bryan Kim, John Tang, Matt Lui, Dennis “Jew”, Jonathan Tsai, and Junia Kim.
3. I am unworthy to have such close relations to the nationals at EBCT (It’s a much longer list of names)
4. I am unworthy of having such a fun teacher
5. I am unworthy of having had the privilege to share the gospel with my tutor
6. I am unworthy of having classmates who are also great friends who actually care about me enough to by stuff when I’m feverish.
7. I am unworthy of having a roommate who is willing to hangout and listen to me talk about God.
8. I am unworthy of having a distant aunt who comes over and makes sure I’m not dying when I’m sick with the stomach flu.
9. I am unworthy of having friends in the states who keep in touch, especially the ones who spend time talking with me about life and God.
10. I am unworthy of having had such an incredible small group last year, which still encourages me to this day.

Circumstantial Graces

1. I am unworthy of having such a solid and God-centered church here in Taipei
2. I am unworthy of having my own apartment
3. I am unworthy of having a kitchen
4. I am unworthy of having a refrigerator
5. I am realllly unworthy of having a laundry machine on my balcony.
6. I am unworthy of having air conditioning
7. I am unworthy of having a relatively clean room and a comfortable bed
8. I am unworthy of having money to buy food and things
9. I am unworthy of having a membership card to the nearest seminary library
10. I am unworthy of having the opportunity to study Chinese here at NTNU
11. I am unworthy of the approval of my parents
12. I am unworthy of having internet
13. I am unworthy of having water, power, and gas.
14. I am unworthy of being so close to school that I can walk every morning to class.
15. I am unworthy of the glorious riches of culinary genius that is Taiwanese restaurants.

Physical Graces

1. I am unworthy of being healthy again after being so sick
2. I am unworthy of having an appetite and being able to keep food in.
3. I am unworthy of having taste
4. I am unworthy of having hair to grow into a crazy do
5. I am unworthy of being able to sleep at night, my tutor has to take pills
6. I am unworthy of not having been bitten terribly by mosquitoes
7. I am unworthy of having a gym membership and the opportunity to stay fit

Fundamental Graces

1. I am unworthy of having an insatiable longing for Heaven.
2. I am unworthy of being human and so having the privilege of experiencing grace and salvation.

“in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Phil 4:6-7 NAS95S)

The weight of words

Three connected thoughts on the weight of words:

• The majority of my life is what it is either because of statements I have heard in sermons or sentences I have read in books.
• To this day, I am still amazed that it is possible, with just one brief statement to clear away the clouds and bring out the Sun.
• Pastor’s should be encouraged, laypersons should be submissive, and unbelievers should listen.

Walking through life with Non-Christians

For the past couple of months, there has been one big difference in my life in comparison to my college days. Unlike those four years at UCLA, here in Taipei, I have more friends who are non-Christians than friends who are. Furthermore, I spend about the same amount of time with them as with my church buddies.

It really is a big difference… especially if you’re used to on-campus fellowship life like me (e.g. living in apartments or dorms next to a whole row of your fellowship friends.) When you live alone in the city, and there are no events to go to, and it takes a train ride or a long walk to see your church homies, life changes. Instead of walking through life with fellow believers in the Lord, you learn to walk alongside people who don’t believe in the same things you do. It’s different, but I’ve learned to love it. Here are some situations that I have come across which I’d like to give a brief commentary on.

1. Integrity

It’s huge. If you lose your integrity you lose everything. Do something stupid and you sully the name of Christian, and more importantly the name of Christ. If I find myself compromising in ways that are obviously no-kay, then I might as well not call myself a follower of the Lord Jesus. Furthermore, pursuing purity in this manner is not a public performance that loses its luster under the wear and tear of time. It should stand because the basis for it is our relationship with God, not man. God forbid that I should start playing the part rather than genuinely pursuing the reality.

2. Friendship and the Nature of Tolerance

I love friends. I truly believe with all my heart that Friends are one of the greatest graces that we can have in this world. Now, there are numerous things I can say about the nature of friendship when it connects peoples of different beliefs. Tolerance is one of those things that is indispensable. As a Christian it is my job to be tolerant, but not to be a pushover. Tolerance is not the same thing as Unitarianism. Tolerance listens, Unitarianism mindlessly accepts. Tolerance does not change it’s own convictions to cater to other’s convictions, it simply gives them the opportunity to explain themselves allowing for peaceful co-existence while preserving the purity of each respective conviction. But it will never give up it’s hold on what believes it to be truth, nor will it stop in heralding it. We can believe different things while believing each other to be wrong. Tolerance allows for that.

3. Sharing the Gospel

When you can you should. I don’t do it enough. Walking through life with a Non-believer should never be without mention of Jesus. To be honest, it’s hard to hide the fact that I am wrapped up in God. If I keep talking, it’ll eventually come out. I can’t help it. You know, I think that’s how it should be. If you find that you immediately blend in without a hitch, and God easily slips into the background, something might be wrong. If Jesus is after all the center and the joy of your life, something of Him should come out whether or not you mean for it to.

Lastly, I think you should make it known that your desire is for your friends to come to a saving faith in Jesus. They should know that you have a genuine concern for them. Because even though it’s not the nicest thing to say “I’m sad because you’re going to hell.” what else can you say? That’s just the simple truth if you believe in the Bible. Sometimes I want to ask my friends “What do you want me to say then?” I can’t think of any other options that don’t compromise convictions.

So long story short, I thoroughly enjoy walking through life with Non-Christians. But it’s a challenge. I just need to remember who I am and stick to it.

Hebrew

I’m starting.

walking through life with non-Christians

(coming soon)

I will write something substantial soon

for the moment here is a snippet of Galatians 3 translated!

 O Foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you, before whom according to the eyes, Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed (as) crucified.  This only I desire to learn from you.  Out of works of the law did you receive the spirit or out of faithfully hearing? So foolish are you , having begun by the spirit, are you now by the flesh being perfected?  Did you suffer so greatly in vain? If it was in vain.  Therefore is the one who provides to you the spirit and works with power in you, (do it) out of works of the law or out of hearing faithfully.  Just as Abraham believed in God and it was counted to him for the purpose of righteousness.

coding

I started coding again.  I’m pulling together another portfolio/agency website called Legitimate Hero.  I figured the name was cool enough to start something for. PHP is a paaaiiiiinnnnn.

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legitimate hero. damsel unimpressed.