Sermon Thoughts

I am a real critic.  I know that’s generally a bad thing, but you know, sometimes it’s both necessary and helpful.  Sometimes people are scared of being critics because they don’t want to look prideful, fanatical, or self-centered.  Well… can we should all accept the fact that criticism is not about the content of the speaker’s character, but the content of his criticism?  Ok.

We should all be humble hearers. Listen to Sermons with gratitude and respect for the Minister. Few people know the cost of the preacher’s labor, and even fewer understand the scale of a pastor’s ministry.

That said, there are some times when I hear a sermon and I am left very very unhappy. This usually happens when one or more of these 10 errors are made:

1. When the pastor obscures the truth in an attempt to simplify it.  (e.g. explaining Israel as the people of God and immediately equating that with the Church)

2. When an illustration becomes the sermon itself (e.g. when a sermon should be called “What we can Learn from Wonky the Walrus”)

3. When possible interpretations becomes the point in a Sermon outline. (The 3 meanings of being Salt to the World: 1. you are the “flavor” of Christ 2. you “create thirst” for Christ  3. You “preserve” life from decay)

4. When a certain word is given the wrong definition or a definition that does not clarify it’s signifiance.  (e.g. “redeem essentially means to save…”)

5. When the point of the sermon is lost.

6. When the text of the Sermon is a springboard instead of a foundation

7. When the Pastor’s confusions on certain topics leaks into the Sermon only to confuse the hearers

8. When there is no application other than “you are accepted and loved.”

9. When there is a claim referenced to the greek, but the greek does not support the claim.

10. When the message becomes a fun facts session for the theologically nimble, and a bucket of terms for the theologically sluggish.

May all preachers therefore ascend the sacred pulpit with fear and trembling. 

12 Bad Breaths

Bad Breath is infamously terrible.  Anybody has been there, sitting in front of a teacher who drank too much coffee, or a friend who has just eaten a banana. You smile, but under that smile is a row of gritted teeth.  I’d like to talk about the types of bad breath that are out there, and possible solutions for them.  I know I would usually put this in my Tumblr blog, but since this will be a longer post, I might as well post here.  The following is a compilation of the top 12 bad breath types, in order of descending intensity.

1. Smoker’s Breath

The worst of all bad breaths. Talking to a smoker is like coming face to face with a mutant’s refuse.  It smells that bad.  It’s a weird toxic, sensory dulling, odor, that a zombie might have if he ate a dead rat.  The only solution here is to stop smoking.  Sorry folks. Sucking on a stog really is bad for you and embarrassingly uncomfortable for your disgusted friends.

2. Barf Breath

A close second to Smoker’s breath, this kind of breath is usually for the drunks or the bulimic.  No matter how many mints you eat, you can’t hide the rancid smell of bile and rotting foodstuffs from your barfy tongue.  Solution! Stop barfing.  If you can’t help it due to nausea, then try anti-nausea pills.  Another solution is to scrape your tongue, brush your teeth, and eat a burger, scrape again and then chew some gum.  You want your salivary glands to work for you.

3. Banana Breath

It smells like a banana, but humid, hot, sweet, and way gross.  Usually people have banana breath in the morning, when they eat one for breakfast.  This is not good, since your morning breath finds a way to merge with the banana breath creating a devastating wallop of an odor.  Save your bananas for later in the day, and do not eat them solo. Combine them with something and then wash it down with a drink.

4. Coffee Breath

The office is full of coffee breath.  It’s the worst when you are talking to a higher upper and you need to smile the whole way through because otherwise you’re fired.  It’s a grossly intense smell, coffee-esque yes, but unlike coffee, it’s very very sharp. It jams up into your sinuses and makes your eyes water if you have too much.  People who have coffee breath usually carry mints around, but sometimes not.  In this case, I recommend switching over to tea.

5. Garlic Breath

For some reason, this doesn’t smell like garlic.  It smells like general stinkiness with a couple small sharp pinches to the sinus.  It’s not sour, it’s not sweet, it’s not bitter, it’s just heavy and overwhelming.  If large amounts of garlic are eaten, then this breath becomes Smoker breath’s little brother.  Solution. only tongue scraping and mouthwash can make a dent in this.

6. Lamb Breath

Sick. Lamb already has a dark gamey flavor, usually brought out with garlic. Lamb breath is just the ugly flavor in lamb magnified through rotting in your mouth.  This is a personal peeve, so maybe I just need to get over it.  But hey, please have mercy and at least chew some gum afterwards.

7. Vinegar Breath

You get this after you eat a salad with too much vinaigrette and/or tangerine slices.   It’s sweet, sour, and unpleasantly sharp.  It also makes the person you are talking to seem like they have body odor issues, sticky skin, and lack of hygiene.  If you eat this, eat something else afterwards that is hot, toasty, and spicy.

8. Hungry Breath

If you have ever been really really hungry, you have had this breath. It smells like dry mouth. Sort of faintly sweet, with a weird aroma of oldness to it.  Solution: Eat.   Once you start salivating, it will stop stinking.

9. Apple Juice Breath

Sickeningly sweet. A touch of sour. and hot. Super uncomfortable to be around.  Don’t let it be the last thing in your mouth. I used to like this girl, and she had apple juice breath once, and forever after, I avoided talking to her.

10. Orange Juice Breath

Same story as above except less sweet, more sour, and very very sharp.  There was another girl, she had orange juice breath, she was also white, and afterwards, I started associating orange juice breath with white people…I don’t know, psychological issues I know.

11. Watermelon Breath

Same as above.  Same experience, different girl.  Notice that all the girls eat fruit, but what they do not realize is the product of such fruit after it begins to rot on their tongues…sick.

12. Leek Breath

This one is mainly for asians.  We eat dumplings packed with pork and leeks.  The result is like farting from your mouth.  The worst case scenario is if you burp, then the smell of leek, compounded with its decomposition from your stomach, turns up into a disgusting smell that will kill all your chances with that girl.  I once had a bowl of leek dumplings before going to a junior high dance, only to burp ont he dance floor, and every single person around me for a 5 ft. radius backed away and I had to pretend it wasn’t me.  devasating in power and especially effective on white people (due to unfamiliarity of flavor)

And there you have it folks.  12 types of bad breath to watch out for.  All to say, every one should scrape their tongues both morning and night and maybe in the middle of the day…

a different kind of youth group

When it comes to youth ministry, I’m used to the adolescent, pressured, AZN, manga reading, fob-esque, 2coofoschoo, sort of kid. They look like this:

The youth group I’m getting involved in is the exact opposite. They are largely white, homeschooled, and don’t know what dragonball is.  More like this:

Now. How in the world am I supposed to teach these kids about Jesus?

…more to come.

John Mayer for every season of life

I’ve made this statement before.  However, since I have nothing to do today, I’m going to try to go about proving it.  For every season of my life, since freshman year of high school there has been a John mayer song to characterize it.

1999

• (Fall) Freshman Year of High school, Had a huge crush on a girl but way out of my league – “Sucker”
• (Winter) – Felt like a sap all the time.  lonely, and moody. – “St. Patrick’s Day”

2000

• (Spring) Started moving on.  Felt better. – “No Such Thing”
• (Summer) Went to Japan for an exchange program – “City Love”
• (Fall) Began Sophomore Year.  Went to Homecoming.  Afterwards I picked up (a) guitar.  The song to learn at the time was – “Neon”
• (Winter) Started liking a girl. Spent loads of time together. Every time she left I felt terrible, missed her always – “Back to you”

2001

• (Spring) Started driving, started preparing for College stuff, SAT’s SATIIs etc- “Not Myself”
• (Summer) Spent the Summer doing College App Prep, very depressed as I said goodbye to the college-destined girl – “Love Song for No one”
• (Fall – Winter) Started Junior year in a funk.  Tried to get really involved in School activities. – Room for Squares Album & Illegally downloaded live tracks

2002

• (Spring – Summer) Same Album, Nothing new released by mr. Mayer.  I went to DC for NYLC
• (Fall-Winter) – Visited the girl, and hung out with her when she was home – “Comfortable”

2003

• (Spring-Summer) -  I graduated. Girl started dating some other dude. I was devastated.  – “
• (Fall-Winter) – I started College at UCLA. Just a Freshman  – “Something’s Missing”

2004

• (…Spring) She broke up with the chumpster.  But decided not to talk for awhile until things were cool again, I’d be different when we talked again – “New Deep”
• (Summer) Went on Missions in Japan – “Split Screen Sadness”
• (Fall) Sophomore year began. Moved into the apartments. Against all odds, she said yes, and we started dating – “Clarity”
• (Winter) Went to Canada for Christmas.  Thought about her every day. Brought Continuum on the trip and listened to it on the car everyday- “Home Life”

2005

• (Spring) Against all expectations, we broke up – “Wheel”
• (Summer-Fall) Went to Albania for missions with girl.  Came back and started dating again – “Only Heart”
• (Winter) Went to Japan for Christmas.  Had pictures of her in my ipod, paired with John mayer – “Wheel”

2006

• (Spring) Our relationship didn’t last, devastated. both of us – “Daughters”
• (Summer) Took an internship and learned CSS – John mayer banished due to depression
• (Fall) Come back to school a Senior. Hear that she has started dating her old boyfriend. heartbroken worse than ever. Concentrated on Ministry.  John mayer still banished due to depression

2007

• (Spring) Tried to make more friends, fill the hole. – “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room”
• (Summer) Went ministry crazy. Took an internship wtih National Forest – “Stop this Train”
• (Fall-Winter) Left for Taiwan, heard Shirley got married. Died. – “Dreaming with  a Broken Heart”

2008

• (Spring) Started hanging out with new friends. – “Waiting on the world to Change”
• (Fall-Summer) A new friendship begins which eventually turns into something more – “Lesson Learned”
• (Winter) Returned home.  Started looking for work – Where the Light is Live album

2009

• Waiting for the next album

And there you have it.

A simple difference

It’s confusing sometimes.  When does friendship become dating?  And are they really even different? Isn’t it a square vs. rectangle issue?

Well let’s make it clear:

• (Pure) Friendship – Does not involve Mutual Romantic interest
• Dating - A friendship that involves Mutual Romantic interest with consent to exclusive social privileges.

easy.

So if you think that guy you’re hanging out with a lot is just a friend.  Doesn’t matter what you say.  If you both like each other, and have a romantic interest in one another, and hang out with each other exclusively.  You are dating.  Congratulations.

Jon foreman’s lyrics

I wish i could write lyrics like this man…

In this world of news, I’ve found nothing new
I’ve found nothing pure
Maybe I’m just idealistic to assume that truth
Could be fact and form
That love could be a verb
Maybe I’m just a little misinformed

As the dead moon rises, and the freeways sigh
Let the trains watch over the tides and the mist
Spinning circles in our skies tonight
Let the trucks roll in from Los Angeles
Maybe our stars are unanimously tired

Let the wars begin, let my strength wear thin
Let my fingers crack, let my world fall apart
Train the monkeys on my back to fight
Let it start tonight
When my world explodes, when my stars touch the ground
Falling down like broken satellites

Let your love be strong, and I don’t care what goes down
Let your love be strong enough to weather through the thunder cloud
Fury and thunder clap like stealing the fire from your sky’s
All that i am hanging on, all of my world resting on your love

The Bachelor

I haven’t watched this show before.  and I haven’t reallly watched it this season.  But I did watch the last two episodes.

So here is the lowdown.  Out of hexa women, Jason (the bachelor) finally filtered it down to two girls.  Molly and Melissa.  According to his word, he was “in love” with both of them.  And no wonder, he basically had a honeymoon with both girls for a number of weeks before he dropped the rock.

Anyways.  Long story short, he chose Melissa.  Yay? Well, apparently no.  6 months later, he came back and said that things changed, that the emotions weren’t there anymore.  And that after giving Melissa a chance, he could no longer “control” his mind or heart, he was in love with Molly.

Here are my thoughts:

1. A man should not allow his emotions to control his decisions, especially the decision to get married.

2. Marriage is about commitment, solid and immovable commitment

3. The heart of a man will never be satisfied, don’t expect marriage to be an exception (likewise with a woman)

4. Honeymoons should not precede weddings, just like sex should not precede marriage.  There’s a reason why desert is last.

5. You can’t take back “I love you.” And you can’t take back pieces of your heart.

6. Don’t get with a girl who you know can be vengeful or contentious. If you marry her, she will make your life hell, if you break up with her, you will be destroyed.

7. Don’t marry a man who is okay with emotionally investing in more than one woman at once.  In time he will not want you.

8. Men are fools. Women are too believing.

9. Marriage is not about two individuals, it is about three, one of them being God.  And it is in fact more about Him than it is about the other two.

10. A woman must be willing to follow, trust, and support her husband, but he must be worthy of her confidences.

11. Both husband and wife, must be experts and communicating with the other party.

12. The Gospel of Christ is a Gospel of grace and acceptance. Marriages are meant to reflect that.

13. End it earlier before later.

14. Marriage cannot happen until both parties consider the other more valuable than anything else, anything, except for Christ.

15. Don’t get married for looks, sex, or stability.  All of those things will go. And none of them are guaranteed.

16. If you are unwilling to let go of something. You are not ready to get married.

17. The ring is only as meaningful as the man’s integrity.

ugh.

Arrows in a Quiver

Today I didn’t go to my home church.  I went to my old home church.  I guess it’s not really home church anymore, but it still sort of feels like home, okay, well not as much these days.

I got to stop by a Sunday school class that was reading a book called, Tender Warrior. My first reaction was intense laughter. And then I realized it was the title of a book, not the creative imaginings of old asian church men.  Anyways, I sat in on the class, and listened, while playing Tap Defense, to the teacher talk about the image of children being the arrows in their fathers quiver as derived from Psalm 127.

3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

If you think about it, it’s a rather cryptic verse.  But anyways, it was quoted in the book (ie Tender Warrior) , authored by Stu Weber, a military  man turned pastor (also the name of a rather skillful guitarist).  His take on the verse is very interesting. creative. epic.  As I remember it, the illustration is meant to help us understand that as fathers, we must all learn to let go, like an arrow from the string of a taught bow.  Fatherhood is about learning to release our children like arrows into the heart of the….um, the future?  Something like that.  Anyways, it’s about letting go.

I think that’s too creative, and too reminiscent of High School English.  The verse doesn’t seem to be making that point.  Sure, arrows are let loose, but what does that have to do with a “Heritage” or a “Reward” or the hand of a “Warrior”?

Here’s what I think, and here’s what I think is the right understanding.  Children are an inheritance, passed down from the Lord.  And the inheritance is our stewardship.  In middle eastern culture, the inheritance is passed down, added to, and passed down again.  Likewise children are given to us as a stewardship, and the stewardship changes hands when the children become fathers.  Children are also a reward, a treasure, a prize, a thing of great value.  Simple enough. So what then of the warrior’s quiver?!

The important question to ask is not, what part of the arrow/quiver/warrior picture can most naturally relate to children, but rather what is the mind of a warrior when his quiver is full of arrows that should make him happy (i.e. “blessed”).  In ancient Israel, the warrior at the gate who carried a quiver of arrows was often stationed there in order to hold off a raiding adversary or instill fear in an enemy messenger.  The more arrows you had, the more you could shoot.  The more you could shoot, the more likely you would make an impact in the battle.  I’m not jumping any lines of logic here am I?   I think it’s quite obvious why a full quiver of arrows would make a warrior happy, as compared to an empty one. It’s no wonder why the psalmist says, “He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.”  If I were defending a stronghold, and the enemy came to negotiate, I would want not to bring one bullet in a gun, but a full vest of clips.  Wouldn’t you? otherwise, you = epic fail.

So no, I don’t think it’s about release, or even about letting go. The likeness between children and arrows, is clearly that both are purposefully contributed into the world.  The more arrows a warrior has, the more he can contribute to the battle.  The more children a father has, the more he can contribute to the cause of God.  They are our heritage that we must preserve, the vehicle that will carry our names into the future, and the cherished prize of our very lives.  When we raise our sons, we raise them in order that they don’t waste their lives on video games and adolescent vegetation, but in order that one day they will affect change that will bring lasting honor to their families and to their God.  And the more children we have, the more opportunities we have for greater impact.

A fitting quote concerning a fitting warrior.

“His only regret is that he has so few to sacrifice…”

Sorry kids.

cheers!