Early observations in marriage

It’s been about nearly a month since I got married.  A few notes and observations about marriage for those who are considering it.

1. Gratitude overwhelms you.  To think that God has given you a unique human being as a gift and a stewardship is mind blowing.  Responding in worship is the right way to go.

2. Wives are blessings and those who have them are truly blessed.  This seems obvious and redundant.  But sometimes we don’t put it together.  In the past I always thought wives were blessings to their husbands.  But when YOU yourself have a wife, you will realize how personally true that statement is.  The blessing is real.  The moment you open your eyes in the morning and hear her soft steps in the office or the kitchen preparing for the day, words cannot describe your joy.

3. Sex is only a part of marriage not the whole.  Single men will freak out about this.  But ask any married man and he will tell you that your pre-marital fantasies and adolescent expectations will change quickly.  And what will surprise you the most is that it’s not because marital sex is no good or not satisfying.   It’s because the satisfaction you get in marriage effectively recovers your hormonal equilibrium.

4. God is only in the marriage if you actively seek Him together.  It’s not like when you’re single and you can effectively draw near to God by cultivating a good thought life.  Once there is another person, to involve that person in the fellowship you have with God requires deliberate actions and careful planning.

5. Desire for God can fade.  I used to think marriages amplify desire for God.  In some cases this is true, but in most cases, the responsibility of taking care of a spouse can drown out your desire for God.

6. Pray separately before your pray together.  Praying together does not replace your independent prayers.  This is key.

7. Your wife’s beauty becomes a treasure you must jealously protect. Guard your mind and capture your thoughts and do not let yourself wander.  Actively search for and cherish the beauty in your wife.  It is the beauty God has prepared for you.

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