More than Nothing

I want to believe in humanity.  I want to believe that within us, there is a measure of goodness, of truth, and nobility.  And I want even more badly to believe that there is a God of wisdom and Love who values us enough to guide us in the way of life and joy.  But I must admit that my beliefs and desires to believe are severely tested by the truth of what I know of this world.

Rarely do I take the time to consider the griefs our people bestow upon one another as nations, the conditions we pass over, the intense poverty, the injustice, and mass hopelessness, the wailing of countless bereaved children thrown into chaos wrought by the selfishness of other men and the apathy of our governments.  Indeed, for me, to know the truth is to hate myself, my people and at times my God.  Where is our innocence? We tremble and weep and do nothing, and our inheritance is passed on.  This is the problem of our evil.  And it is too great to stand under.  When people ask, I cannot preach it away, I cannot climb atop books and hope to escape the smoke of guilt and accusation.  War, rape, brutality, and base exploitation are what are flesh and blood have brought about.  Though it is right, it is also wrong to say that God’s love is wonderful and mysterious, and His plans of expressing it complex, for to know the truth of things in this world, chokes this bold declaration into a desperate gasp for what is an increasingly elusive answer.

There is a God.  But if He is here, He must be a weeping God, for what He has declared as necessity through the events of history, has shown him to be a God who is accustomed to the deepest of pains, for His hands are not idle in our horrors.

And so we bow and God speaks, and He says:  “all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, ‘What have you done?’”

And some of us whisper, “Surely I could never stay Your hand, but what do you expect me to say? Shall I stay silent when all the inhabitants of the world cry out from darkness? Are we truly nothing? And is our pain nothing to You?”

Somewhere inside of me, there is a word, that says, “We are not nothing.”

Some churched folk may say, Indeed we are significant! we are worthwhile, because the infinite worth of Jesus was the ransom for us.  Very well, but you are not thinking this through. This ransom, it was not paid because of our worth, it was paid because of God’s glory.  Let me affirm this truth again, may there be no talk of our worth being the reason for Christ’s incarnation and sacrifice.  For that would be wrong.  Truly it is not because of anything in us that God should choose us, but because God’s choosing of us is reason alone for the action (Deut 7:7-8).  Further, the sacrifice of the cross, was not to display the worth man of but rather to uplift the worth of God, by displaying Him as a God of true and measureless grace.  Hence Paul’s repetitive affirmation in the first chapter of Ephesians.  So again, consider with me, the worth of man is lost in all this.

I hope the reader understands, I am not seeking glory for man, I am only seeking an explanation for the significance of our existence, and the affirmation of our worth in light the world’s brokeness. Not because of what we have done, but because of what we are. Human.

All I want to hear is “You are of value to Me.” and maybe then I will be able to keep my chin up, when the world is falling apart around me.

bap bap baaap

true, i have not blogged in awhile.  This is due to some unforseeable events: 1. I am busy 2. work is busy 3. responsibilities pounce on me like a jungle cat.

I just started a new job doing graphics for an iphone gaming company.  This while also straddling consulting work through my design agency.

I also am making new friends and remembering old ones.

To my one or two readers, I promise I’ll post soon.

China

My parents just came back from China where they were overseeing a medical aid effort to provide heart surgery for impoverished children with congenital heart disease. The children live in the barren wasteland of Qin’an County, Gansu, China where food is a luxury. They live in literal shacks with no running water. There are no farm animals, just dust and crabgrass. The daily diet is composed potatoes which may or may not grow throughout the year. Recently a number of children were sponsored by my family’s foundation to receive heart surgery to fix their congenital heart defects. In one case, a young girl was chosen and due to her failing condition, her mother had to carry her 3 hours to the bus station on her back. Then the two of them then took a series of trains and buses to reach the hospital. After the operation was over, the only thing the mother had to give the child to eat was some poorly kneaded mantou (buns) which she had dried ahead of time for the journey. Before feeding it to her recovering child she first had to dip the buns in water to make them soft enough for her daughter to eat. If anyone of you have had a mantou you know it’s void of nutrition, dry, and relatively tasteless, but it’s the best they had. After the operation these families usually have spent all of their life’s savings on the journey, and no longer have the money to pay their way home. It’s a heartbreaking situation. I wanted to share this with you guys, because it’s such a reality check for us. Listening to my dad tell the story of these impoverished families reminds me that 95% of my life is luxury.

A brief series of Thoughts concerning Sin and Sacrifice

Thought 1. Sin is a tremendous problem.  Its effect upon our souls is infinitely severe.

Thought 2. For a problem of infinite severity you must either have infinitely numerous solutions each with limited effect OR a single solution with infinite effect.

Thought 3. In the Old Testament, under the Mosaic Law, Israel sought to propitiate their sins by means of numerous sacrifices of limited effect, year after year.  But even after many thousands of years, the vast number of sacrifices could no less touch infinity than when they first began.  So even though the sacrifices were of valid effect, they could never fill the boundless void of Sin’s cost.

Thought 4. The boundless cost of Sin, is satisfied by the boundless worth of God. Christ was this boundless worth clothed with humanity.  For there contained in one Man, was the infinity that all men could never attain.  With a single sacrifice of unlimited effect, The God Man paid the infinite price for our Sin.

EDIT: And that explains how sacrifices can be effectual while also being insufficient.

A diet of music

This will not be a long post.  But I was thinking about this in the car today as I drove home from work.  I was listening to a great song by Phil Wickham called “You’re Beautiful.”  I enjoyed it much.  Not merely because of the musical sensibilities that were so similar to my own, but also because of the substantial content and the theologically charged images it provoked.  Listening to that song was good for me.  Good for my soul and for my mind. Which started me thinking, if my ipod could be likened to a refridgerator filled with eats, what kind of food was mine filled with?  And I concluded that my music diet was composed of 60% candy (cool sounding stuff, ie ear candy),  10% alcohol (emotional sap music that makes you unstable after too much) , 15% water (marginally beneficial ccm and secular but christian sounding mainstream alternative/pop)  and  15% real food (theologically substantial and emotionally healthy music or classical compositions).  Now just as what is found in your fridge doesn’t always equate to your actual diet, neither does the distribution of music in my ipod.  If I was to equate the actual amount of time I listened to music with what I ate the most in this wonderful illustration, I would basically be eating candy all day, with the occasional shot of veggies and meat.

I thought that was interesting.  No conclusions. just a note.

Sermon Thoughts

I am a real critic.  I know that’s generally a bad thing, but you know, sometimes it’s both necessary and helpful.  Sometimes people are scared of being critics because they don’t want to look prideful, fanatical, or self-centered.  Well… can we should all accept the fact that criticism is not about the content of the speaker’s character, but the content of his criticism?  Ok.

We should all be humble hearers. Listen to Sermons with gratitude and respect for the Minister. Few people know the cost of the preacher’s labor, and even fewer understand the scale of a pastor’s ministry.

That said, there are some times when I hear a sermon and I am left very very unhappy. This usually happens when one or more of these 10 errors are made:

1. When the pastor obscures the truth in an attempt to simplify it.  (e.g. explaining Israel as the people of God and immediately equating that with the Church)

2. When an illustration becomes the sermon itself (e.g. when a sermon should be called “What we can Learn from Wonky the Walrus”)

3. When possible interpretations becomes the point in a Sermon outline. (The 3 meanings of being Salt to the World: 1. you are the “flavor” of Christ 2. you “create thirst” for Christ  3. You “preserve” life from decay)

4. When a certain word is given the wrong definition or a definition that does not clarify it’s signifiance.  (e.g. “redeem essentially means to save…”)

5. When the point of the sermon is lost.

6. When the text of the Sermon is a springboard instead of a foundation

7. When the Pastor’s confusions on certain topics leaks into the Sermon only to confuse the hearers

8. When there is no application other than “you are accepted and loved.”

9. When there is a claim referenced to the greek, but the greek does not support the claim.

10. When the message becomes a fun facts session for the theologically nimble, and a bucket of terms for the theologically sluggish.

May all preachers therefore ascend the sacred pulpit with fear and trembling. 

12 Bad Breaths

Bad Breath is infamously terrible.  Anybody has been there, sitting in front of a teacher who drank too much coffee, or a friend who has just eaten a banana. You smile, but under that smile is a row of gritted teeth.  I’d like to talk about the types of bad breath that are out there, and possible solutions for them.  I know I would usually put this in my Tumblr blog, but since this will be a longer post, I might as well post here.  The following is a compilation of the top 12 bad breath types, in order of descending intensity.

1. Smoker’s Breath

The worst of all bad breaths. Talking to a smoker is like coming face to face with a mutant’s refuse.  It smells that bad.  It’s a weird toxic, sensory dulling, odor, that a zombie might have if he ate a dead rat.  The only solution here is to stop smoking.  Sorry folks. Sucking on a stog really is bad for you and embarrassingly uncomfortable for your disgusted friends.

2. Barf Breath

A close second to Smoker’s breath, this kind of breath is usually for the drunks or the bulimic.  No matter how many mints you eat, you can’t hide the rancid smell of bile and rotting foodstuffs from your barfy tongue.  Solution! Stop barfing.  If you can’t help it due to nausea, then try anti-nausea pills.  Another solution is to scrape your tongue, brush your teeth, and eat a burger, scrape again and then chew some gum.  You want your salivary glands to work for you.

3. Banana Breath

It smells like a banana, but humid, hot, sweet, and way gross.  Usually people have banana breath in the morning, when they eat one for breakfast.  This is not good, since your morning breath finds a way to merge with the banana breath creating a devastating wallop of an odor.  Save your bananas for later in the day, and do not eat them solo. Combine them with something and then wash it down with a drink.

4. Coffee Breath

The office is full of coffee breath.  It’s the worst when you are talking to a higher upper and you need to smile the whole way through because otherwise you’re fired.  It’s a grossly intense smell, coffee-esque yes, but unlike coffee, it’s very very sharp. It jams up into your sinuses and makes your eyes water if you have too much.  People who have coffee breath usually carry mints around, but sometimes not.  In this case, I recommend switching over to tea.

5. Garlic Breath

For some reason, this doesn’t smell like garlic.  It smells like general stinkiness with a couple small sharp pinches to the sinus.  It’s not sour, it’s not sweet, it’s not bitter, it’s just heavy and overwhelming.  If large amounts of garlic are eaten, then this breath becomes Smoker breath’s little brother.  Solution. only tongue scraping and mouthwash can make a dent in this.

6. Lamb Breath

Sick. Lamb already has a dark gamey flavor, usually brought out with garlic. Lamb breath is just the ugly flavor in lamb magnified through rotting in your mouth.  This is a personal peeve, so maybe I just need to get over it.  But hey, please have mercy and at least chew some gum afterwards.

7. Vinegar Breath

You get this after you eat a salad with too much vinaigrette and/or tangerine slices.   It’s sweet, sour, and unpleasantly sharp.  It also makes the person you are talking to seem like they have body odor issues, sticky skin, and lack of hygiene.  If you eat this, eat something else afterwards that is hot, toasty, and spicy.

8. Hungry Breath

If you have ever been really really hungry, you have had this breath. It smells like dry mouth. Sort of faintly sweet, with a weird aroma of oldness to it.  Solution: Eat.   Once you start salivating, it will stop stinking.

9. Apple Juice Breath

Sickeningly sweet. A touch of sour. and hot. Super uncomfortable to be around.  Don’t let it be the last thing in your mouth. I used to like this girl, and she had apple juice breath once, and forever after, I avoided talking to her.

10. Orange Juice Breath

Same story as above except less sweet, more sour, and very very sharp.  There was another girl, she had orange juice breath, she was also white, and afterwards, I started associating orange juice breath with white people…I don’t know, psychological issues I know.

11. Watermelon Breath

Same as above.  Same experience, different girl.  Notice that all the girls eat fruit, but what they do not realize is the product of such fruit after it begins to rot on their tongues…sick.

12. Leek Breath

This one is mainly for asians.  We eat dumplings packed with pork and leeks.  The result is like farting from your mouth.  The worst case scenario is if you burp, then the smell of leek, compounded with its decomposition from your stomach, turns up into a disgusting smell that will kill all your chances with that girl.  I once had a bowl of leek dumplings before going to a junior high dance, only to burp ont he dance floor, and every single person around me for a 5 ft. radius backed away and I had to pretend it wasn’t me.  devasating in power and especially effective on white people (due to unfamiliarity of flavor)

And there you have it folks.  12 types of bad breath to watch out for.  All to say, every one should scrape their tongues both morning and night and maybe in the middle of the day…

a different kind of youth group

When it comes to youth ministry, I’m used to the adolescent, pressured, AZN, manga reading, fob-esque, 2coofoschoo, sort of kid. They look like this:

The youth group I’m getting involved in is the exact opposite. They are largely white, homeschooled, and don’t know what dragonball is.  More like this:

Now. How in the world am I supposed to teach these kids about Jesus?

…more to come.

John Mayer for every season of life

I’ve made this statement before.  However, since I have nothing to do today, I’m going to try to go about proving it.  For every season of my life, since freshman year of high school there has been a John mayer song to characterize it.

1999

• (Fall) Freshman Year of High school, Had a huge crush on a girl but way out of my league – “Sucker”
• (Winter) – Felt like a sap all the time.  lonely, and moody. – “St. Patrick’s Day”

2000

• (Spring) Started moving on.  Felt better. – “No Such Thing”
• (Summer) Went to Japan for an exchange program – “City Love”
• (Fall) Began Sophomore Year.  Went to Homecoming.  Afterwards I picked up (a) guitar.  The song to learn at the time was – “Neon”
• (Winter) Started liking a girl. Spent loads of time together. Every time she left I felt terrible, missed her always – “Back to you”

2001

• (Spring) Started driving, started preparing for College stuff, SAT’s SATIIs etc- “Not Myself”
• (Summer) Spent the Summer doing College App Prep, very depressed as I said goodbye to the college-destined girl – “Love Song for No one”
• (Fall – Winter) Started Junior year in a funk.  Tried to get really involved in School activities. – Room for Squares Album & Illegally downloaded live tracks

2002

• (Spring – Summer) Same Album, Nothing new released by mr. Mayer.  I went to DC for NYLC
• (Fall-Winter) – Visited the girl, and hung out with her when she was home – “Comfortable”

2003

• (Spring-Summer) -  I graduated. Girl started dating some other dude. I was devastated.  – “
• (Fall-Winter) – I started College at UCLA. Just a Freshman  – “Something’s Missing”

2004

• (…Spring) She broke up with the chumpster.  But decided not to talk for awhile until things were cool again, I’d be different when we talked again – “New Deep”
• (Summer) Went on Missions in Japan – “Split Screen Sadness”
• (Fall) Sophomore year began. Moved into the apartments. Against all odds, she said yes, and we started dating – “Clarity”
• (Winter) Went to Canada for Christmas.  Thought about her every day. Brought Continuum on the trip and listened to it on the car everyday- “Home Life”

2005

• (Spring) Against all expectations, we broke up – “Wheel”
• (Summer-Fall) Went to Albania for missions with girl.  Came back and started dating again – “Only Heart”
• (Winter) Went to Japan for Christmas.  Had pictures of her in my ipod, paired with John mayer – “Wheel”

2006

• (Spring) Our relationship didn’t last, devastated. both of us – “Daughters”
• (Summer) Took an internship and learned CSS – John mayer banished due to depression
• (Fall) Come back to school a Senior. Hear that she has started dating her old boyfriend. heartbroken worse than ever. Concentrated on Ministry.  John mayer still banished due to depression

2007

• (Spring) Tried to make more friends, fill the hole. – “Slow Dancing in a Burning Room”
• (Summer) Went ministry crazy. Took an internship wtih National Forest – “Stop this Train”
• (Fall-Winter) Left for Taiwan, heard Shirley got married. Died. – “Dreaming with  a Broken Heart”

2008

• (Spring) Started hanging out with new friends. – “Waiting on the world to Change”
• (Fall-Summer) A new friendship begins which eventually turns into something more – “Lesson Learned”
• (Winter) Returned home.  Started looking for work – Where the Light is Live album

2009

• Waiting for the next album

And there you have it.

A simple difference

It’s confusing sometimes.  When does friendship become dating?  And are they really even different? Isn’t it a square vs. rectangle issue?

Well let’s make it clear:

• (Pure) Friendship – Does not involve Mutual Romantic interest
• Dating - A friendship that involves Mutual Romantic interest with consent to exclusive social privileges.

easy.

So if you think that guy you’re hanging out with a lot is just a friend.  Doesn’t matter what you say.  If you both like each other, and have a romantic interest in one another, and hang out with each other exclusively.  You are dating.  Congratulations.